So! The first week of high school is finally over. Oh GOD, it dragged like massive roadkill lugged around by a baby snail. LKJA 0PFHASD;LFH LDK
Now that it's over, time for some p-p-p-p-picspamming. National teams this timeee. Aaand I lied about no more World Cup pictures. ¬¬ Photos that I've never seen before just keep popping up, DAMNIT! DAMN YOU, INTERNET, DAMN YOUUUUU!
On the bright side, it's in alphabetical order!
By the way, this is going to be the last GINORMOUS post. I'm going to chop up my updates in the future, so you all aren't figuratively (or literally, if you want) knocked over by the sheer number of pictures.
Oh, and I'm terribly sorry for the watermarks. I went a bit trigger-happy with the Getty-raiding. T-T
Cracks me up everytime. It's like 'The Fellowship of the Hobbits, Plus Crespo, Who's the Only Non-Midget on the Team'.
Young Argie love! Messi and Sergio 'Kun' Aguero (who has, incidentally, signed with Atletico Madrid and will probably be their savior or something).
Aguero's got the kissy disease! His victim is all, "Dude, get teh ghey away from me!"
... he's cute. -Prods-
Dude, wtf? xD
Hand placement, o little Argie.
Best hug/hug face ever.
Dunno why, but whenever I see this picture, I immediately think, 'Gimli and Galadriel.' o_o
Cute, even though Aguero looks like he's doing the Heimlich Maneuver on Messi.
Dude, I'd totally buy that magazine, even though it's in espanolish.
Okay. So there's this totally weird Argie love triangle/quadrilateral that is awesomeness:
First you've got these two, Javier Saviola and Andres D'Alessandro.
And so on...
Putting on their clothes after an activity that required removal of clothing, I'm sure.
But! As we all know (or, well, me, at least) Saviola is a slut.
And omgf! He goes off to whore with little Pablito Aimar!
But Aimar is Riquelme's ho already. I mean, just look at the pictorial evidence (actually this is just an excuse for me to oogle pictures some more and salivate)!
Even since they were still mini-Argies. =D
Cutest picture ever, I swear.
So! I'm sure you all agree that this is totally...
Oh! But that's not the end!
See, you'd think that everyone's respective SO's wouldn't get along (and no, that doesn't make much sense to me, either), but!
Roman gets some lovin' from el conejo.
And because those two went off the canoodle...
So now we've got:
... yeah. Okay, so I'm done with that. Anyway!
I've just realized that little Pablito Aimar is rather... hot. o_o
And quite fetching in a suit!
"Indecent exposure? I'd say this is pretty decent, yo!"
Aimar: Bitch, slutting is my job!
"Succumb to teh ghey! Resistance is futile!"
Whoa. Nice glomp, Cambiasso.
They look so naive! I look at this picture and think, "Frodo and Gimli!"
... in which el conejo is a total dork and el payaso is all, "Dude, you're embarrassing me right hizzere."
Aaand just because I like team shots.
Chile (actually, it's quite warm here)
... just an excuse to post a picture of hot Chilean boys.
... and slashy ones! -Salivates-
Deutschland (most of these photos weren't from the World Cup, by the way)
Frings: LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!
Fathi: I wonder what my finger hitting your skull would sound like.
"That blue rubberband looks very fetching you, my dear."
Lehmann looking sulky and bitchy as ever. And does that sign say 'miniature golf' or am I just an ignorant German non-speaker?
... they look funny!
Loew: Nice ass.
Lehmann: Up yours.
Yeah, that's reeeal subtle there, boys.
Tsk tsk, watch that hand, Poldi.
Unbeknownst to most, Loew hasn't actually taken over as coach, but has rather chosen a new profession unrelated to football. He is now. Traffic. Conductor. Extraordinaire. -Cue dramatic organ music-
Odonkor's a shorty!
Loew: Chop chop, now, boys! Better beat that rush-hour traffic!
More blue rubberbandness. Schweini is so... white. oO'
In which little Lahmi is, well, little, and Klose enjoys hovering around in the air.
Finally graduating from elementary school Walking from some award ceremony thang.
Schweini: Dude, how do you work this thing? -Goes cross-eyed-
Some gratuitous shots of the award ceremony thang, just because they all look very snazzy in their black suits.
Ballack: -Thinking- Goddamn English water.
(And damnit, whytf did he go and shave off that pretty hair?! Now he looks like a pissed off gorilla. -_-)
See what I mean?!
Reporter: So what do you think of Chanel's new line of handbags?
Schweini: Like ohmigawd, the hot pink one is like totally cute! My girlfriends and I like saw it at the mall yesterday and like totally dig it!
"Give me a hug!"
"Bitch, get yo' face outta mine."
You totally win at life.
Lahm fulfills his lifelong dreams of wanting to be a dinosaur.
... he's a cutie. -Prods-
Poldi gets fired from the team and gets a job at some fastfood joint.
Schweini's totally gangsta hoppy-dance. Featuring Hargreaves as the wigger MC, yo!
OhmiGAWD like shopping on a cold winter day, girlfriend?!
Ballack: Bitch, I know I'm sexy.
(Well, with hair, anyway, gorilla boy.)
I love how he's so cheery and smiley even with a pwned foot.
Sucking... on... something...
I don't have a caption, sorry. o_o
Little Lahmi's moose/elk/reindeer/some antler-ed animal shirt!
o_O He's pretty much nekkid here, and it's rather disturbing.
Klose: omgomgomg you pick meeeeee?
And you hear suspicious, bumping noises after the photographers leave...
Loew: Oh, for the love of Klinsi!
Awww, Lahm is so tiny.
Poldi: The Swedish coach is making funny faces!
Gay hands, much?
Klose is all calm-looking, haha.
And what did I say about him enjoying hovering? Those are serious ballet feet, too.
Fathi: -Thinking- I'm gettin' m'self a piece-a that ternight!
And what better way to end this section than with... LEGSSSSS!
McClaren (who, incidentally, I really dislike for some reason): Seriously, I looked down and BAM! It was like THIS BIG!
McClaren: I mean, Eriksson can't compete with that!
Neville: DUDE, DON'T STEP ON MY BALLS!
Terry: Sorry, sorry!
See why I don't like him?
It doesn't matter what Crouch is doing; he never fails to crack me up.
Damnit, not with the headshaving again! You take this bald coot look that is totally next century, and compare it with the pimpin' corn rows. There's no competition there, dear fashion-unconscious boy!
Gerrard: Eeek! Don't scratch my new shoes, yo!
I'm totally digging the movement of the photograph here.
I'm totally digging the movement of the photograph here, too, but more because it cracks me the fuck up.
... nice facial expression there, JT.
He reminds me of an tired, disgruntled, soggy old dog. o_o
Sheesh, McClaren, it ain't a funeral and your team ain't losing.
Oh, those South Americans and their touchy-feely antics. <333 The guy on the very bottom is totally orgasming.
Socceroos vs Kuwaitis (Asian Cup or something. And I don't know any of their names, so. Sorry about that.)
Blurry images! The ball looks like half a discolored watermelon.
-Vy for ball-
... -start dancing the meringue!-
One thing can lead to another, you know.
I love angsty/hurt-y/lie-on-the-ground-for-no-reason-or-some-reason-y photos.
Number Nineteen: Dude, don't worry, it's only this big.
Referee: ... ORGYYYYYYYYYYY!
(... yeah. One thing... leading to another?)
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the Aussie tripped over the Kuwaiti's leg in midair? Is that even possible?
You know, you just don't not post pictures like these. I mean, really.
It'd be so awesome if he got stuck in that net. Talk about adding insult to injury. Or something like that.
Mancuddling is still mancuddling, even if they do look rather... possessed?
Number Nineteen: Damn those Socceroos! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!
Number Two: Awww, why can't I joiiiiiiin?
I call this pregnancy bisected. One guy goes through the positions, and the other does all the screaming.
... funny on so many different levels.
"Am I going to fall? I do think so. Oh, dear me."
Kuwaiti: Bitch, you wanna say that to mah face?!
It almost looks like the Aussie is carrying the Kuwaiti.
This equation makes no sense to me. Aussie sitting rather painedly on the ground + Chaos in the background = Happy cuddling Kuwaiti boys?
And the poor boy couldn't help but crack up.
... -start dosey-doing in midair-
Kuwaiti: Bitch, whatchu doin' in mah way fo'?!
Aussie: I'm sorry, mommy! -Cries-
Xi Ban Yaaa (you know, Spain)
Presenting the many faces of the Spaniards during a press conference...
"Why yes, I do have a sexy finger tattoo!"
"I'm just going to smile and nod because I have no idea what you're trying to say."
"I've got hot eyes and mad awesome hair."
"... I gots a big nose, yo."
"Urrrgh, I have a hangoverrr."
"What could have induced it? That bottle of vodka last night? Mmm, probably not... help me think, guys!"
Garcia: Maybe it was the firewhiskey. Well, no...
Villa: -Is actually sleeping with his eyes open-
"Vould you like zis odd lump vith a pig's leg sticking out of eet, meester Xavi?!"
"Yey, dis be my pig's foot that seems to be attached to a bottle of wine. Or maybe whoever's captioning is just tired and blind and getting senile."
"Actually, la captionista has no caption for this picture, other than that mini-goatees pwn a lot."
"I'm actually a fine piece of ass if you ignore that psychologically unstable, mildly murderous expression on my face."
"But not prettier than me!"
"Whatchu lookin' at, biznitch?!"
I like the gradual blurring. o_o
Casillas: -Overslept due to Hangover Numero Dos- Is this a bad time for me to barge in there and take part in that press conference?
Albelda: wtf is that?! Pairing a Gucci bag with Prada shoes? Psh.
Lydia <3s frolicking boys. Because they normally end up like this. ^
Alonso: Dude, take the ball! It's got maxi-pads all over it!
(Anyone else notice those oddly-shaped things on this year's World Cup ball looked like freaking pads?!)
God, I just want to take a big stick and prod Alonso's tongue back into his mouth. And Villa is totally orgasming up there.
Yey, it's Slutboy. The tackling defender is probably like, "Well, at least I have a good view from here."
Puyol: OhmiGAH, did you watch that last episode of El Gordo y la Flaca last night?!
Raul: No, but I heard that TEH GHEY is running rampant in our camp!
Puyol: Well, I could not believe that--wait... what?!
He looks so. Happy. o_o
Dude, Ramos looks vaguely like Raul.
Presenting the bizarrely matched expressions in the Spain vs Iceland game...
And this is pretty much where the matching expressions... dies. Note Slutboy Torres' uber-butch shaved head. Pisses me the crap off. How could you trade in that rockin' mohawk for this... lack of hair?! EH, EH?! Well, at least I can call him Egghead now.
And here's a mini-story aboot Raul.
turned into this
which then mutated into...
And here's an even minier story aboot Puyol and Cesc.
What began with Puyol accidentally sitting on Cesc's face turned into...
... this silent, soulful exchange?!
And here's a very special section cryptographically named...
FROM TIM (which oh-so-ambiguously means that Tim sent me the following pictures. Aaaand I'mma mostly put his captions because I don't feel like thinking of any/Tim pwns quite a lot at captions. I think you can tell which caption belongs to whom. C=)
the guy wid black shirt is reaching to touch the white shirt guys dick
Mariano Pernia: come on Zidane take that shirt off
Francisco: his mine Omar so get lost
Gennaro Gattuso: KARATEE CHOP, Viduka: its mine
Ecuador ppl starring at Rooneys butt
Aloisi: oh Cahill ur so soft
Schwarzer: why did u slap me? Dude: im watching u sexy
"Feel my face, coach! It's super-soft from Lancom's new lotion."
Beckham: oh i hope nobody heard that fart
Zidane: damn Beckham's wife is ugly, lets just c if i smell good and keep an eye out on her
Owen: oh why are you looking at me
Harewood goes WAPAAA!!!!!!
Coach: cant u see ther having sex right in the middle of the field!!!!
Mourinho: Aaand... what's wrong with that?
Players: take his shirt off, player on the right stares at his private
Oddo trying to be scarry but it isnt in the dark and he doesnt have a flash light
Del Piero shoving his thingo at the other player and screaming his love, other player gruntin
Kaka: i am pround to be an idiot
(And dude, he looks frighteningly emaciated here. o_o Especially his hand. It's all shriveled and wrinkly and weird! Eeeesh.)
Del Piero screaming his pain after shoving his thingo n other player laughing
Pirlo grabbing Pizarro's hand and trying to get his hand to feel him
"Look, don't touch!"
Ancelotti trying to look sexy
Capello: oh yea look at that erection its like this!!!
i believe i can fly
and this shows how much players love there team and Adriano looks baffled because he was only sucking a cum stain off
(Which I thought was pretty disgusting, but you know. Whatever.)
Obafemi Martins trying to get attention
Adrian Mutu: Cagliari stop butt raping me right now we can do it later
Daniele De Rossi: come back here im not done with u
Juliano Belletti is so in love with himself that he saw himself in the trophy and started making out with it
"Me love you looong time, trophy baby!"
Ronaldo: hahahaha ur butt is so white
Frank Rijkaard getting an invisible blow job
Zidane getting ready to fuck the ball and Beckham ass fucking his foot
Casillas: damn that blade of grass is sexy
"Why is there a used condom on the ground?"
Messi: oh god yea dont stop dont stop!!!
"Ow, be gentle!"
Real Madrid players in exotic position
Yellow guy: come on let me touch it
"Follow the ball!"
Ronaldinho: see look it says im gay right here
Ronaldinho: I got some golden balls of my own!
Robinho: OH YEA I GOT A DATE WITH ZIDANE!!!!, Sergio: nice work Zidane now he wont stop fucking around
Cadiz looking down at his private and Joan Capdevila feeling sexy at seeing 3 balls
And here's a random one of some lady (yes, gasp all you want) climbing a wall, because Tim asked me to post it.
lady trying to spank her arse
"Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"
And oh goddd, I'm finally done. Which means I can now sleep in peace if I don't trip over the couch first.